Thoughts on Hypocrisy and Army Wives

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I've been thinking a lot about some things after a conversation I had with a coworker, Garett, at my new job.  He's a really nice guy, funny, flirty, etc., and he's in the army.  I remember the first few days I met him, he was talking about basic and deployment and such, and because of that I automatically ruled him out as a potential romantic interest.  

Why?  Because my cousin is in the army and was deployed all of last year.  I saw his wife's daily struggles, how much she missed him and how hard it was to only get to see him for a couple weeks at a time very occasionally.  I just thought to myself that that's exactly how I would feel.  I imagine that I will want to see my husband everyday, have him around for comfort and security, and not worry about him all the time.  And so I silently vowed to myself that I would never marry someone in the military.  There were other things, too, like having to move around a lot and uprooting ourselves and our kids socially and academically.  I was convinced that these were all great reasons.

Then I was talking to Garett the other night at work, and I asked him about why he joined the army.  Later, he asked me if I thought a man in uniform was attractive.  I avoided the question, trying to figure out what I to say.  The conversation went something like this.

Garett: Does seeing a guy in uniform spark anything in you?  A military uniform?

Me:  My uncle gave me some of his old desert camo and I really like that.  [Avoiding the question]

Garett:  That's not what I meant.

Me:  What do you mean? [Stalling]

Garett: Like, is it attractive?  

Me:  Mmm, maybe the navy.  [This is true, I really like the navy uniform]

Garett:  Ah, the sea daaaawgs.  You know they're all gay right?

Me: Sadly, they're the best-looking.

Garett: Do you at least think something like, "He has a job, he's not lazy"?

Me:  Yeah, I guess so.

A few minutes later:

Garett:  So, what do you think about guys in the military?

Me:  I don't know.  [Yes, I do, I just don't want to say it.]  I mean, I don't think it's a bad thing, I think it's good discipline for a guy, and I support our troops and all...

Garett:  But you just don't know how close to home you want it?

[And THAT was the kicker that got me thinking.]

Me: Yeah... is that bad?

Garett:  No, I don't think so.

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Well, now that I think about it, I DO think it's a bad thing for me to have that mentality.  I've always thought it was wrong of people to be so selfish that they wanted to live in our free country but wouldn't be willing to have their family members sent off to war.  Let some other family's son or husband die for you.  I guess I just always thought that was what other people thought, and didn't realize I had pretty much the same mentality.  I felt like a total hypocrite.  

Since that conversation I've been thinking a lot about the possibility that I could have to see my husband and sons sent off to war.  Conditions in this world most likely aren't going to get better from here.  What if full-blown war broke out and they were drafted?  That's something I couldn't control, even if they weren't enlisted in the military before that. 

I've finally come to the conclusion that  I need to have a less selfish attitude about the military.  After all, I've always believed that "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" and that it is noble to sacrifice your life for your country.  How can I believe those things and not be willing to live them?

Sometimes inspiration really does come from unlikely sources.